and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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