how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
