I'm gonna have a badass scar
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
