so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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