Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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