Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
