We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
