I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
