I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
