please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
