He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i need some magic done to my vagina
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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