Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
