I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
