Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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