I don't usually arrange sex via text message
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
time to smoke my breakfast
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
