Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
