im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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