I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
