She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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