just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
