I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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