She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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