I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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