dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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