i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
