You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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