It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize