I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
