My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
