OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We have so much sex to catch up on
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
