So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
