wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
