I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize