fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize