My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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