$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
