it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
