Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
