HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
