I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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