you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
