We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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