saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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