Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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