doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
