my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
