guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
