how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Holy shit dude........stairs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
