i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
