So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
