So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
