Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
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I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize