please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
