Your tits are I can't wait for
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
