Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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