If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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