I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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