This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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