i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ketchup is God's man juice
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize