oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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