I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
