Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
