Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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