She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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