don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
...so i touched it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize