The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
