i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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