no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize